View from the Other Half

in·sight  [ˈinˌsīt]   NOUN
  1. the capacity to gain an accurate and deep intuitive understanding of a person or thing…(in the sense ‘inner sight, mental vision, wisdom’)

Yesterday I was mulling over the complexities of what it means to empathize with someone when it is impossible to know exactly what they think about or feel exactly what they feel.  As good as our relationship as husband and wife is, and as well as we know each other after 30+ years, communication can still be less than perfect, especially when it comes to understanding this crazy journey from the other person’s perspective.  I approach things as a dyed in the wool optimist, which can come across to Sandy as ‘living in Fantasyland’, whereas he approaches the same exact issues as a pragmatist, which can come across to me as pessimism.  Luckily for us we are usually able to find the humor in our YinYang union, and ultimately know that our differences compliment one another to strengthen our bond.  But we’re still distinct people, and until we master the art of the Vulcan mind meld, our thoughts remain unique and separate.  Even when shared through conversation, words can only go so far, and part of what we think and who we are remains unknowable to anyone except our Creator.  So how to be truly empathetic with someone going through an extraordinarily difficult life event? Perhaps that’s where “insight” comes in – knowledge gained not from our regular senses, but from someplace (or someOne) else.  I will never know perfectly what the love of my life is going through, but I hope that whatever natural empathy I possess, along with much prayed for insight to cover my deficiencies, will bring me closer to understanding.  This is a shared journey, so it behooves me to be the best possible traveling buddy.  I know that I have the best!



  • Lisa


    You ARE the best Christy!
    In your optimistic, “dust, come to life” person you possess a heart that treasures and has true insights. Your Portuguese passion shows in the things that stir you, Things that arouse your love, empathy, AND, your ire, all reveal the depth of conviction you carry. The Christy I know sets her face toward the good, the lovely, the just, the pure, the virtuous, and does not like to look back. You do not lack wisdom.

    You’re as a skilled and jubilant majorette, leading a display of hope, joy and love. The needs of the human spirit. That’s in balance to your sweet husband whose seeing to the delivery of the fufillment. He’s planning out the parade schedule, the line-up, the route… a logistician

    I hope this doesn’t sound trivial to you and Sandy at this difficult time. It’s not meant to be. You two are precious. This is such an important time for you. You were born to this Christy, from the moment you first laid eyes on your beloved, (was it at at Balboa Park?). Don’t let the difficulties rob you of a single moment. However unwanted some of these moments may seem, you bring the love to them. What would it be like for your dear husband to face these days without that, without the woman you really are? You are his home here on earth. I remember when Joel faced some dire hours, I felt inadequate at times. But those were just feelings, thoughts, As those stirrings were taken captive in the Spirit, even if there was truth to them, I knew my Father would be what I wasn’t, and carry us through to His glorious conclusion. I don’t truly know what His purposes were then, or now for that matter. Except, that He’d be glorified. That has to be the aim, His glory. What a peace that brings about, so peculiar and unfathomable, isn’t it?
    Know that you, Sandy and your children and your grandbabies are daily on our hearts, born to His throneroom in prayer. We love you.
    Lisa, Joel and family

    • Christy


      Thank you, Lisa! Your words are a wonderful boost to the spirit. Sending our love your way, too! <3

  • mandy


    Christy you are such an amazing woman. I am so grateful that you are in our lives and that Sandy had the wisdom to pick you for his wife. Your wiliness to research this horrendous disease and battle it with amazing foods, love, wit, and optimism, has I am sure helped Sandy more than anything else earthly. The rest is God and Sandy’s forever wonderful stubborn nature. With you, God and all of the prayers from so many friends and family, we are surely helping to make miracles happen for Sandy daily, even though they may seem small and sometimes un-noticed, I feel sure that they are happening. I too am optimistic… that’s ok, the world needs us optimists ! Love you so much…thank you for being my sister.


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